A "difference that makes a difference"

To whom shall we go?

Following yesterday's somewhat downbeat post, I said morning prayer again this morning and read (again) these words

To whom shall we go?
You have the words of eternal life,
and we have believed and come to know
that you are the Holy One of God.

It's those words "you have the words of eternal life" that refresh me so much.  "So you're struggling, Caroline?  Come to me, I have the words of eternal life"  It's not a quick fix of course but it is a sure healing, promised and sealed.

I've been saying Celtic Daily Prayer for nearly 3 years now and I never fail to be awestruck by the way the liturgy, repeated daily (or as near to that as I can manage), comes to me new so often.  Old words, new contexts but even if old contexts, then new moments. This is a living life, one that is new and has to be enacted anew each moment.  If you haven't tried a daily liturgy, then do give it a try ( link to it in the top right hand corner of this site.  You need to give it some time, to get into the rhythm of it and let the words seep into the silent, unworded parts of your day.   

Distributed Community II

Following my post from last night, I was reading Morning Prayer of the Northumbrian Office this morning and came to the final blessing:

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you,
wherever He may send you.
May He guide you through the wilderness,
protect you through the storm.
May He bring you home rejoicing
at the wonders He has shown you.
May He bring you home rejoicing
once again into our doors.

I do love it (and it has a lovely tune, which you can get from Cloisters at the Northumbria Community)

anyway, my question is this:  How would a growing sense of our sending and receiving back people help our sense and experience of community?  What would we be doing differently if we worked out our 'sending' rather than the more lame 'supporting'?  what might we do differently if we sent with a vision of welcoming back?

what might sending involve?  what might welcoming back involve? Who might we consciously send  just people who were going far away or those who were heading off to work that morning?  I don't quite know what I'm scratching at here, but it's something to do with a changed quality of relating within the church family rather than more or less of the same.

The Good Times

Well, it's been a good few days (week or so) for me.

I have a new job that is a delight to me.  My leaving of Northampton is not without sadness and a tinge of failure, but the new job is so enticing.  A chance to do more research at a stronger research institution, a Centre of Excellence in the very area of Professional Practice that has been the focus of my study for the last few years. 15 months after my professional world seemed to collapse around me I sit in awe of the way that I've been lead; how that time has helped me re-focus, how God is very much larger and how the new job is so well fitted to where I should go.  I'm pleased, also, that it does not involve a promotion.  In a strange way that seems to confirm the path.  Does that make sense?

The new job is not all.  This week an eminent Professor has suggested doing a double-hander with me at a conference.  Moi? :-0 Golly.  Then a meeting with a large company went very well and could lead to an opportunity for me to work with senior managers there.  And on Thursday I facilitated a major workshop upon which depended the jobs of three people.  It went well, the future seems a little more secure for my friends and my reputation has been more firmly established...

Yes, a good week

and yet a difficult one too. For as my mind got wrapped in the intricacies of my profession, as I sought to do my job well and progress projects that I consider important; I have found it so hard to keep my heart on Christ as "the one thing necessary", "the one thing that I seek". 

"Lowly and meek, yet all powerful"

I've blogged about this before; that prayer resonated strongly again this morning during morning prayer. Hild, abbess of Whitby, was born into a royal family and gave counsel to Kings and princes of the church.  She was a leader of men and women.  She was intimately involved in the great events of her day.  She would understand my struggling ambition and submission and her prayer has become a frequent refrain for me:

"Lord, show me the right seat;
find me the fitting task;
give me the willing heart."

Creed

Credo = I believe

You almost slot in, without thinking, the word 'about' into that sentence. Much of my faith life has been subject to 'aboutism' over the years. It's been as if I expected that I just had to believe, believe more, believe a bit better, believe a bit more knowledgeably and then, somehow, my life would grow more holy.

I'm not convinced.

Celtic Morning Prayer has a "Declaration of Faith" taken from Peter's statement (John 6: 68)

"You have the words of eternal life" Not, notice, some words about eternal life, but words that bring life, give life, are living. 

I learning to read God's word so as to drink that life, dwell with that life and let it infect me.  Learning to read it that it might provoke me to new ways of going on.

One thing...

Celtic Daily Morning Prayer starts

"One thing I have asked of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life;"

When I started with the Northumbria Office I eased happily into the liturgy until, after a few days, God asked "This 'one thing' Caroline, do you want to talk about it?"

"yeah, good idea God, lets chat tomorrow, I've got to dash to work now ..."

The next day I started daily prayer and God asked "Ok, shall we chat now?"

I managed to put Him off for about three weeks until even I spotted that this was something I needed to consider. Was there really only one thing that I sought?  I wasn't after a career, promotion, recognition, reputation etc etc?

As is so often the case, I think, it isn't the really dreadful things that come between us and God. The danger lies in good things that grow to usurp his position.  It's so subtle that we often don't notice it happening.  I very much share Richard's problems of drivenness and found his comments really helpful. Maybe for you it's something different but I've been helped so much by being brought up short each morning in the daily office.

"Call:             Do you seek Him with all your heart?"
Response:    Amen, Lord have mercy"

Lowly and Meek?

As I mentioned yesterday, in light of the minor detail that I don't have much to say for myself at the moment I thought that I would spend some time dwelling on extracts from Celtic Daily Prayer, the daily office of the Northumbria Community, of which I am a companion.  I have blogged before of the blessing that this daily office has been to me.

"This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all powerful,
Be in the heart of each to whom I speak;
in the mouth of each
who speaks unto me.
This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all powerful."

It's the "lowly and meek yet all powerful" that hit home to me.  Now I know that this version of St Patrick's breastplate is saying that Christ is "lowly and meek" but in the year that I have been saying the office daily the question has been put to me "Caroline, are you willing to be lowly and meek in order to be all powerful?"  Am I willing to forgo prestige, status, recognition and the world's reward?  Am I prepared to be anonymous?

I don't do "lowly and meek" very well.  I'm a larger than life, assertive, enthusiastic and occasionally dominant performer of my life but I don't do lowly and meek well.  And the promise of being "all powerful whilst also being lowly and meek? That's just not how it works in the world is it?

"Caroline, my child, are you willing to be lowly and meek that I may be powerful?" asks my Lord

Daily, I'm trying to answer yes, and I'm nearer now than I was.

And as I type this tears start to sting my eyes, for I consider my workload, consider how poorly I'm working at the moment, worry about my job and the future of the university I work for .. and it's all a little more than I can handle.  I look at the issues I'm tying to get my head round, the aspirations that are pulling me forward, my inability to handle the present demands ..  not promising material, I'm afraid

and I pause ..

"This day be within me..." Lord. Amen